Chapter 5 : Healthy Communication

Developing healthy communication skills

Developing good communication skills is essential in all walks of life and different situations. Relationships rely on good communication to survive and strengthen, how you live among your neighbors requires good communication, in your work, doing well in school or college and dealing with difficult people are just one of the ways excellent communication skills can help in life.

Most of us have to deal with difficult people at some stage or another in our life, so it is essential that we know how to deal with them effectively, to get the best outcome. If we are faced with difficulties as a common part of our day-to-day life it will gradually have an effect on your life, you will become nervous, anxious and stressed. The easiest solution is to eliminate the difficulty from your life; however this is impossible if the problem lies with a co-worker or a loved one. If this is the case then you have to develop strategies to help you develop healthier communication between you and them. Here are some tips to help you

  • Where possible avoid getting into any personal discussion such as religion or politics, basically avoid any subject that can easily cause conflict. If you sense the other person is trying to goad you into a discussion that will probably lead to an argument then change the subject or leave the room.
  • Trying to change the difficult person you are dealing with will only result in them becoming defensive; it will eventually turn into a power struggle and make the person even more difficult to deal with.
  • Try changing how you respond or see the other person, if the person is treating you unacceptably then draw boundaries that they cannot cross.
  • Try to see the other person’s point of view and remember that you are not always right.
  • Focus on the positive aspects of the other person; this can be especially helpful if the person is a family member.
  • Accept the person for who they are, good or bad
  • Learn to recognize when you need to put a distance between you and the other person and act on it when the time comes.
  • When you feel negative interactions try not to blame either one of you for them.
  • If worst comes to the worst then just being polite could be the best you can hope for with certain people, sometimes people just don’t get on, no matter what.
  • Try to keep your sense of humor when around someone who is being difficult.
  • Be sure to have positive relationships around you to offset the negative ones.

These are just a few of the ways which you can use in your daily life when faced with difficult people, while they wont change the person, they can make life and the person involved a lot easier to deal with. Along with developing healthier communication skills you should also practice ways of de-stressing, particularly if you are confronted by facing and dealing with difficult people who you cannot avoid on a daily basis.

10 tips for effective communication

The ability to be able to communicate well is essential in all walks of life if we are to succeed and accomplish the goals we set out for ourselves. The key to any successful relationship is having the ability to communicate and this applies equally to personal relationships as well as building interpersonal relationships within the workplace. Here are ten tips for developing good communication skills that you can use to build upon.

  1. Always let the person who is talking finish what they are saying before you speak, if you speak before they have had their say then you could miss a valuable point, if you break into their conversation it also shows that you think what you have to say matters more than what they do and is extremely bad manners.
  2. Listen intently to what the other person is saying to you, if all you are doing is thinking of how you are going to reply to the person then your full attention isn’t focused on what they are saying and you could miss something important.
  3. Always stay focused on the present and never bring up past issues, however related it may seem. This only cloud the present issues and can make the conversation difficult and even more confusing.
  4. Really listen to what the other is saying to you, it is so easy to drift away with thoughts of your own especially if you don’t agree with what the person is saying to you, try not to get defensive and don’t interrupt them before they have made their point.
  5. Instead of trying to win an argument or conflict try to reason and find a solution that is agreeable to both parties, this is a much more effective way to communicate than trying to battle it out just for the sake of winning, this way no one is the loser.
  6. Take a break if you cannot come to a reasonable agreement in a conversation when at odds, taking a break will allow you to cool down and gather your thoughts before communicating again.
  7. Try to see the others point of view and don’t just stick with what you have in mind, talk over the ins and outs and explain simply and fully why you don’t think their idea is a good one while making suggestions of your own, but don’t be too quick to dismiss the others idea until you have the full picture.
  8. Even if you don’t like what other person is saying try to be respectful of their opinion and do listen to what they have to say even if you don’t necessarily agree with them.
  9. Don’t blow things out of proportion while conversing, if possible avoid starting sentences with “you always” or “you never”, always think about what you are saying and make sure that what you are saying is true, blowing things out of proportion, blaming and bringing up the past only creates more negativity.
  10. Don’t always put all the blame on the other, sometimes we handle conflicts by blaming things entirely on the other and criticizing, try to analyze the situation objectively to find a solution.

10 tips for interview success

Attending an interview can be a nerve-racking for even the experience professional. However, there are a few points to remember that can ensure your interview gets off to a great start and to give you the knowledge and comfort you need to reduce anxiety and calm you down. Here are the 10 top tips when attending your interview and getting successfully through it.

  1. Do a little research – researching the company beforehand and finding a little about what they do and who they are can go a long way to being a success or not, it could make all the difference to them hiring you. Understanding what they are looking for in a person can also greatly increase your chances, you can use the companies prospectus or the internet to do your research on the company,
  2. Present yourself well – preparing yourself is essential for success in your interview, always give yourself plenty of time to shower, groom and dress appropriately for your interview. Choose your outfit wisely and dress appropriately for the type of job you are applying for.
  3. Arrive early – always make sure you arrive at the interview roughly 10 minutes before the actual interview starts, this will ensure that you don’t arrive flustered after rushing around and will show the interviewer that you are punctual.
  4. Ask questions yourself – while it is you that is being interviewed you should also prepare questions to ask the interviewer, by preparing questions to ask beforehand it will show the interviewer that you have taken the time, have shown initiative and are interested in finding out more about the position or company.
  5. First impressions count – always remember that first impressions count for a lot, walk into the interview with your head held high, smile and give a firm handshake. Showing you have confidence in yourself is essential and can make all the difference to you being successful.
  6. Show interest – make sure that you show interest in the person conducting the interview, ask them questions such as how long they have worked for the firm and what involvement with members of staff are.
  7. Watch your body language – be confident in your body language, the way you conduct yourself is a tell tale sign in your body language and will give the interviewer insight into the type of person that you are, interviewers place a lot of faith in a persons body language so make sure yours doesn’t let you down.
  8. Make sure you understand the requirements - if you are unsure of any questions that the interviewer asks then be sure to ask them to clarify what they mean, if you answer without fully understanding the question you are only asking for trouble.
  9. Ask about follow up – make sure that the interviewer knows how interested you are by asking about what happens after the interview regarding follow up, make sure you know how and when they will contact you if you are successful.
  10. Make sure the interviewer knows you want the job – at the end of the interview make sure you reiterate how much you are suited for the position and what you could give to the firm as a member of staff.

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