Chapter 9 : Refusing Politely


Refusals should never be too hard. If you have to say no to somebody, you have to be very cautious about it. Definitely this is something that people do not take lightly. Who likes to be refused?

However, there are some ways in which you can go about your refusals and still make sure that no one is hurt.

There are some common rules that apply to all types of situations where you are refusing someone. These guidelines will help you make elegant refusals that work sound acceptable and you do not lose out on your credibility or make enemies in the process.

In this chapter, we see those rules of refusal. We learn how we can refuse in a polite manner so that it is not taken too hard. In the kind of times that we live, it is very important to learn these techniques so that we do not generate too much ill will in the process.

Refusing Politely - Ensuring There Are No Hurt Feelings

Rejecting an offer for something has to be done in a way that will ensure the other party will not feel rejected. Doing it this way helps a person understand the reasons for your negative answer.

For example, if a person offers you a cup of tea, there are two ways that you can answer negatively.

In the first method, you will answer no and leave it at that. Using this method is not advised. This is because the other party might take the rejection personal. They might think you rejected them because of something else. This might not be the case but the other party will not be able to understand you did not have any bad intentions. They might think that you do not want to have tea in their place.

The second method is by refusing politely and giving your reasons. It is not mandatory to explain yourself, but it is advisable. You can decline taking the tea by saying no thanks. You can further explain that you had just eaten or you have an issue with tea. You can further tell them that you can have coffee instead. By doing this, the other party will have a full understanding of your reasons for rejecting an offer. They will not have reasons to think that you have other intentions nor will they have hurt feelings.

The same case will apply in business. A person might offer you a job or a business venture. In this situation, it might be taken as pride when you reject an offer plainly. However, you can explain to them that your plate is full at the moment and you cannot embark on anything else. You can even assure them that once you are through with what you are doing, you will be ready and willing to work on what they wanted you to work on. Be sure to be thankful for the thought and/or suggestion that they have made.

Most of the business relationships that have gone sour do so because of slight misunderstandings. Someone might think that you are not respecting them and that is why you have refused their offer. They might even think that you do not consider them as worthy people to do business. This might bring a lot of hurt feelings to the rejected party. The might even start planning how they can destroy you and your business. Sometimes, the results have turned to be fatal.

Relationships are the most sensitive areas for rejection. When someone wants to go out on a date with you and you refuse, it might lead to hurt feelings. If you are not able to come up with a good excuse, you can tell them that you appreciate the offer but you are already seeing someone. When you tell them this, they will not take the negative answer personally. They will understand that you are committed to someone and if it were not the case, you would have gone out with them. Having such things in mind will help you be able to get what you want without stepping on anybody’s toes.

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